ISRAEL PART ONE
Location: Dank hostel room on the Tel Aviv waterfront
Characters: Me and Male Hostel Worker
Time: 11:30 a.m. on New Years Day
Situation: I pulled into the hostel at 8 a.m. after an all-nite party in Jerusalem, which was the culmination of an eight-day drinking binge/tourist jaunt through Israel.
I didn’t sleep much and didn’t eat much: the trip was a chance to bust loose in a western-style country after four months in Egypt.
Watch the sparks fly when an over zealous hostel worker tries to rouse me from bed.
…AND ACTION!
Hostel Worker: (Bursts into dorm room, disturbing my sleep) “Hey! You up in the bunk! Are you staying another night here?”
Me: (Groggy and rubbing eyes) “What? What? Am I staying another night? Naw. I’m leaving today.”
HW: (Annoyed) “Well, check out was an hour ago. It’s 11:30 now.”
Me: “Well, sue me.”
HW: “I’m sorry?”
Me: “You heard me. SUE ME!”
HW: (Visibly shocked at my aggressive response) “Look, don’t get smart. Check out was an hour ago. If you want to sleep in, then you can pay another 62 shekles for tonight.”
Me: “Hey, LOOK CREEP. I’ve had a really long night and I really fucking hate the Eagles. So cut me some slack.”
HW: “Do you want me to call the police?”
Me: “Go ahead and call them, dinkus. I’m a Canadian citizen. Call them and they’ll laugh at you. What are you going to tell them, that there’s some Canadian tourist who slept in? I didn’t realize they had a law against hangovers in this country. In fact, most of the world is waking up with a hangover this morning, so give me a FUCKING BREAAAAAK!”
HW: "Get out of that bed now! Get out! Now! Get out of that bed NOW!”
Me: “I actually have a hard on right now and I’m not comfortable with getting out of bed in front of you.”
HW: “What? Look. GET OUT OF BED!”
Me: “Do you want to see my dink?”
HW: (Shocked, angry and flabbergasted) “I’m calling the police in 20 minutes.”
Hostel worker leaves the room. I go back to sleep. End scene.
I didn’t sleep much and didn’t eat much: the trip was a chance to bust loose in a western-style country after four months in Egypt.
Watch the sparks fly when an over zealous hostel worker tries to rouse me from bed.
…AND ACTION!
Hostel Worker: (Bursts into dorm room, disturbing my sleep) “Hey! You up in the bunk! Are you staying another night here?”
Me: (Groggy and rubbing eyes) “What? What? Am I staying another night? Naw. I’m leaving today.”
HW: (Annoyed) “Well, check out was an hour ago. It’s 11:30 now.”
Me: “Well, sue me.”
HW: “I’m sorry?”
Me: “You heard me. SUE ME!”
HW: (Visibly shocked at my aggressive response) “Look, don’t get smart. Check out was an hour ago. If you want to sleep in, then you can pay another 62 shekles for tonight.”
Me: “Hey, LOOK CREEP. I’ve had a really long night and I really fucking hate the Eagles. So cut me some slack.”
HW: “Do you want me to call the police?”
Me: “Go ahead and call them, dinkus. I’m a Canadian citizen. Call them and they’ll laugh at you. What are you going to tell them, that there’s some Canadian tourist who slept in? I didn’t realize they had a law against hangovers in this country. In fact, most of the world is waking up with a hangover this morning, so give me a FUCKING BREAAAAAK!”
HW: "Get out of that bed now! Get out! Now! Get out of that bed NOW!”
Me: “I actually have a hard on right now and I’m not comfortable with getting out of bed in front of you.”
HW: “What? Look. GET OUT OF BED!”
Me: “Do you want to see my dink?”
HW: (Shocked, angry and flabbergasted) “I’m calling the police in 20 minutes.”
Hostel worker leaves the room. I go back to sleep. End scene.
posted by C.A.I.R.O. @ 7:33 AM
1 Comments:
Hahaha wow. I can just feel the tension. Well played.
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