BOOM!

“DANCE BARTY” IN EGYPTIAN POSTAL WAREHOUS INJURES 134
POLICE ARE BAFFLED BUT HAVE A CANADIAN LEAD

November 9th, 2006
Associated Press

CAIRO: An impromptu dance party which exploded in an Egyptian mail warehouse yesterday injured 134 people, officials said.

The party exploded when an envelope from Canada was opened by mail workers and the CD contained within was played on the warehouses’ PA.

“We weren’t use to beats that were so slamming,” said one mail worker, who declined to be named out of fear.

“The bass was so heavy. I’ve never experienced anything like that before…It was so, so, so….German.”

The collapse draws increasing attention to Egypt’s aging infrastructure and the fact that people in this developing nation really like to party hard and get down.

Also, this is the latest embarrassment for the Egyptian government. In the past few months, train collisions and Suez accidents have plagued the nation’s transportation system.

Investigators, speaking on the condition of anonymity, believe that a young woman from Canada sent her brother, who is living in Cairo, the CD in the mail earlier this month.

However, given that Egyptian postal workers are poor, corrupt fuck holes, the mail was opened and the CD was stolen and confiscated.

“I guess the mail workers dug the artwork of the CD and started to play it on their PA or whatever,” said the investigator, who added that the CD was a German techno compilation called Total 7.

The label couldn’t be reached for comment because they don’t speak English.

However, German officials were regretful about the whole thing.

“We are sad that this happened. Really, we are,” said German Trancellor Angela Merckel, during an interview at a techno club in Berlin yesterday.

“Techno is our greatest asset – and our most dangerous weapon, apparently,” she said.