TIB. This is Berlin.

Landed in Berlin.
Ate Vietnamese soup.
Drank large beers.
Got directions to the infamous Panorama bar.
Took tram line to the last stop.
Searched for Panorama bar for two hours.
It´s hidden by disused industrial buildings in East Berlin.
Behind a stretch of empty warehouses we spotted a row of bright lights along a gravel path.
We arrived at 3 a.m.
The club was intense.
Relentless minimal techno courtesy of Luciano.
The club´s decorations consist of abstract art and a giant colour photo a harry pussy.
The chillout rooms are small metal cages. Fuck chambers.
At 10 a.m. the club was still packed with Germans. The party usually goes till 3 p.m.

We decide to get an ice cold Becks for 3 €.
The couple making out next to me were getting into it.
He lifts up her shirt and caresses her bare breats.
The music crescendos with a burst of melody: it´s a pipe organ that builds into a roar.
At the exact moment of climax, the lighting man hits a switch and the shades pop open, flooding the room with blinding sunlight.

The crowd roars and throw their hands in the air.

We left at 11 a.m. and walked, next to the wall, back to our hotel.
TIB: It´s a long way from Cairo.

Six Whole Months! Six Whole Months!

My time in Egypt is almost done.

Part of me will miss it but most of me won't. At least I'm going out like Jon Bon (ie, in a blaze of glory.)

For the past week, my sister Anna and I have been travelling the country. Here's a brief rundown:

Spent two days in Cairo sipping cool beer at rooftop bars and exploring the backstreets of the medieval city. Amazing. Anna wore a veil and nobody leered at her.

Then it was off to Luxor and Aswan, where we dodged touts, biked through fields of sugar cane and scaled arid peaks in a futile attempt to raid pharaonic tombs.

(We also met a pair of veiled sluts named "Mona Lisa" and "Pussy" during a lunch of kofta and salad. Yes they were hookers and no we weren't buying.)

We also basked in the awe of the Luxor and Karnak temples and came to blows (almost) with a psychotic hotel manager who refused to let us share a taxi from his hotel to the airport at 5 a.m.

Insane, I know.

Then it was off to Sinai. We shared a taxi through the deserted wasteland to Dahab with an obese German woman who was in Egypt to start a travel company for disabled Europeans.

Then we snorkeled and baked in the sun and marvelled at the vulgar world of diving.

We also talked about Greek philosophy and Kuwaiti pedophiles with an Egyptian windsurfing fanatic who had a striking resemblance to Dodi Al Fayed.

However, due to funds and the omnipresent threat of Eurotrash and the aggressive nature of the creepy, violent, insular and vulgar divers, we decided to take a 10 hour night bus ride back to Cairo, where we were ripped off, harrassed and accused of being Israelis.

There's way more stories and way more to tell but I'm lazy and you don't really care. Anways, stay tuned for photos.

No Smoking

It's been 19 days without a cigarette. It's been good to break the habit.

I mean, shit, I'm not a smoker. Who am I kidding? According to my brother I'm a cock smoker, but in my opinion, he's a douche bag, so, right, um, anyways, I haven't been buying cigarettes which means I'm saving a lot of money, right?

Not really.

Considering a pack of cigs is like $1.50, I've saved about $25. That's the price of exactly one drink at the Chelsea Room in Toronto, not that I ever hung out at that piece of shit.

Anyways, while I've kicked the habit, my shisha consumption has increased two-fold and the air quality in Cairo continues to deteriorate as the annual sand storm season kicks into high gear.

So, um, if I'm not saving money and I'm breathing bad air and I'm actually hurting my lungs more by sucking on a water pipe all day, then what the fuck is the point of quitting smoking?

I don't know.